Life would be perfect if....

When I was in grade school, I weighed 130 pounds. I thought if I could just weigh under 100 pounds, life would be perfect.

When I was in high school, I weighed 180 pounds. I thought if I could just get back under 150 pounds by graduation, life would be perfect.

When I got engaged, I weighed 220 pounds. I thought if I could just get back under 200 pounds before the wedding, life would be perfect.

When I turned 40, I weighed 240 pounds. I thought if I could just get back under 225 pounds in a year, life would be perfect.

When I woke up this morning, I did not step on the scale. I knew it would be over 250. And life is not perfect. But I would never trade it for anything else. I have a husband who loves me, and I am thankful every day that he has loved me for 23 years, no matter what the scale said. I have my health, and while there have been injuries and minor illnesses over the past few years, I have seen so many others struggle desperately with debilitating sickness and disability, and I am thankful every day to be as healthy as I am. I have a wonderful relationship with my mom, and while I miss my dad, I see others with only one parent, or with parents who are indifferent or abusive, and I am thankful every day to have had two parents who were always supportive and loving. I have a beautiful house that I love, and while we have struggled with repairs for the past few years, I see so many without a place to live, and I am thankful every day to have a home that is safe, secure and comfortable. I have a job that pays well, and while I would rather be working for myself, I see so many others with no jobs at all and I am thankful every day to be able to pay my bills.

Do I want to lose weight? Yes. But I will not allow my image of myself to be defined by numbers anymore. I will not dwell on the life I think I could have and miss the beautiful life I have right now.

I will move.

I will dance.

I will love.

Life is perfect. RIGHT NOW.